Silence

There is now a deafening silence throughout the apartment. Yes, I decided to stay at the apartment on my own with Hayden, until it’s our time to leave for Almaty to immigrate through the US Embassy. There’s a comfort here, to me, in this place. It’s hard to describe. I love my little tiny kitchen, and its’ window. I love to sit at that window and gaze out upon the world that created and supported our two sons, before we could come and bring them home.

So for now, I’m on my own. But it’s a bit daunting. I often think to myself; OK I’m 42 years old, I lived on my own for 10 years, I bought and owned 2 houses before I even met/married Bob, I worked my way up the mgmt chain of “Corporate” America, so I can do this!! Why then, does this already feel so foreign to me? Is it really fear? Or do we just become so accustomed to our lifestyles that any change is daunting? I don’t know the answer, probably a bit of both mixed in.

I do know for sure, that it is awfully quite in here without my “3 footer” (Spencer) running around. Now it’s just me and Hayden, who is much more amenable to my way of doing things. He doesn’t want to watch Wheels, Polar Express or ABC’s for the 125th time. He lets me watch whatever Mommy wants!

But it was hard. It was a hard choice to make, and a hard choice to execute. Saying goodbye to Spencer and Bob this morning tore my heart out. I have literally never been away from Spencer, or Bob for that matter, for this length of time. With the exception of course, of our last trip here when I was the one who had to leave early. When did life get so difficult?

But my own fathers’ words always ring in my ear…. Nothing in life worth having comes easy……….

Happy Father’s Day everyone


PS. Bob/Spencer arrived in Almaty safely. They celebrated the day with a Gondola ride; which had a nice playground/restaurant at the top of the mountain. Later they had dinner at a local Irish Pub. They are heading to bed early as they are being picked up at 3:30am to go to the airport. Will be flying from Almaty to Amsterdam; then onto Detroit then into SFO; they will arrive in San Francisco at 5:30pm PST. Please pray for their safe return home